Balance Life

Balance Life With TBI

Well when I was released from, err, let out of the hospital, or some may say forced out of the hospital, I was in a wheelchair and so they then didn’t finish teaching me to walk when I left and, and then they were going to have me meet with somebody at home in my house, which they had taken me to; dragged me up the stairs in my house and said, you know, you’re going to have to go up the stairs to use your bathroom .

But anyway we managed to, I don’t know what even happened after that, but anyway then we managed to go to ## Hospital, which is very, very nice people.   I should say they were very nice people at the damn Hospital, and I really think highly of most of them there.  There’s just always these few that, that tend to make problems.  So it’s not the hospital at all, just a few.

Anyway, about walking again, I don’t remember the exercises they gave me so much as bits and pieces, I would call them peaks or valleys.  I remember I couldn’t be out of bed hardly at all for many, many, well years, and, but when I, but when I, while I was still at ##, which were, was for a few months after still, I was using a walker and as I learned to use the walker.

(They said) you may have to use this walker forever.  No, I don’t want to use a walker forever, and maybe I have to but I don’t want to use it forever. And so I forced myself, and it’s hard to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it, the words of how it felt to have to, to force yourself to make your leg that doesn’t move and to do all these things that hurt so badly to move.

The thing I didn’t finish too is, well maybe I did tell you, my clavicle was broke and such, and everything that was not moving – yeah I did tell you.  Sorry.  And so it’s hard to describe how much that hurt to do that, and how my lower back hurt so badly, did from what it does. Yet the human wish is to, to do, but to be able to do things again within me –  I grew up learning to push myself very hard physically, generally anyways, but I wasn’t, had never learned to push myself through pain as such.  But, you know, I, that was necessary to, to get to where I, I could.